Pale?

In meeting several new people in the last 6-12 months of my life I have come to realize my story pales in comparison. Is it because of my innate tendency towards risk aversion? Or is it because that’s just the way it turned out? 

I lived a sheltered life in Singapore and in many ways I wish I had done more to discover my sexuality earlier. I was scared. I was afraid of the consequences. And most of all I was afraid of the efforts that I had to make to make it work. I could have gone away and had rships for the sake of it and to find out more about myself that way but I had chosen the more spiritual charasmatic way of doing it. I have developed into a decent person (or so I think) and I haven’t got much that I’m regretful about (other than not seeing mama). 

This pale story, and the fact that I am a classified nerd just because of my engineering background, leaves much to be desired. I wonder most days what people are attracted to. What is it that ticks people’s boxes? I am at a stage where I am getting closer to the point of not giving two hoots about that now. Because it hurts the brain. And it’s neurons being wasted for something that is really just a figment of what I would be calling my imagination. Or is it?

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