1 Year 5 Months

… since I came out. Or so I think it is. I believe it was April 2015. So about 1.5 years later…

  • I have had one relationship, which lasted all but 2.5 months.
  • I have had one girl reacting very negatively to my virginity, and is now for some reason behaving differently towards me.
  • I have chatted to two girls, who are living over on the eastern states, and all I got from them is nothing but emotional dependence for the period they wanted it for.
  • I have reaffirmed within myself that I do like women, and there is nothing that could have ever changed that fact.
  • I have had looks, words, and attitudes that would be close to discrimination.
  • I have realised that there can never be a ‘normal’ way of introducing ‘the one’ to my folks.
  • I have also realised that there can never be a normality to how we’re living, no matter how much the LGBT community is trying to ‘educate’ the general public.
  • I have found myself in a state where I have to constantly explain myself to people that I am not straight, and that I am indeed a lesbian, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
  • I have drifted from the friends whom I was very close to, potentially because of the person I have become after coming out. And that’s perfectly okay, because it is all about acceptance.

Now that I am coming to 32, with 1.5 years of being out, this girl feels so right. So right, that it’s scary. I never felt this way with LW, and much less CJ. I only know that I am scared. But I am also not willing to give up without a fight for her. Because, as of now, 25 September 2016, 1934hrs, she is worth the fight. And she makes my heart flutter ever so often. She makes my tummy go wonky. Most importantly though, I have never felt more comfortable with anyone else romantically.

I think that I am in this deeper than she is, and I am not surprised about it at all. But at the end of the day, like what JW had said the other day, there is always that one party who will be giving more. I don’t mind giving more, as long as I know her heart is with me. What am I sayin’? It’s only been a month! This is madness.

That said, I just cannot wait to spend a day with her on the 12th. 🙂

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