Suppression

If there is one thing I have learnt in the last few months of being in absolute agony over a woman whom I cannot even learn to love, it is to never suppress my feelings. Let it out. Let it all out.

The notion of suppressing our feelings so that we don’t allow ourselves to wallow, is a whole lot of bullsh*t if you asked me. What is more beautiful than truly embracing the feelings we do have for the person. So what if it is unrequited? So what if it will take a while before these feelings ease off? Embrace it with the courage and the hope that it will be replaced by a feeling of peace. The peace that you had once felt so deeply in whatever way for a thing or a person, or both, and that you have allowed yourself to fully immerse in that moment.

And ironically in my mind, to embrace, simply also means to let go. To let go of that which holds us down. That, which prevents us from really feeling how we really feel. You miss him/her? Embrace it. You love him/her and yet circumstances are such that you can’t? Embrace that too.

It will pass. Remember to use the support around you. Remember the other beautiful things inside and outside of your life. These feelings, will pass. How long, I cannot tell you for sure. But all I know is that I ain’t going to suppress my feelings. I miss her, and I wish I got to know her better and be with her more. I wish we were more than just what we were trying to be.

But all of those, I know, will pass at some point.

Embrace.

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