What is it that attracts you to someone? What draws you to them? What makes your heart flutter? Please don’t say the person’s personality, because whilst personality is what we ultimately get attracted to, there is always one (or more) physical trait in a person that attracts you to them.

I have a bit of a cliche physical trait that attracts me – the person’s eyes. But with that, I discover more and more about what other areas I see as the first things to catch my eye:

  • Shoulders
  • Back
  • Voice (if you even consider this a physical trait)
  • Teeth

Of them, what are your deal breakers? And again, there really isn’t anything right or wrong, and one would be ultimately shallow in thinking that it should really be personality traits that are the deal breakers. And yes, I do acknowledge that, and believe that personality traits trump everything at the end of the day, but let’s be realistic, if you are not someone who would be attracted to someone with a big nose, then a person with a big nose may not exactly be the best way to start the possibility of being in a relationship with them.

Before you say that I am just a shallow, superficial woman with a crazy warped mind, I beseech you to think about it really hard. I say all of this, because I used to be exactly like that. I used to think that personality would be the thing that would trump everything, and that I can date someone whom I don’t actually find physically attractive. Then I found out, I was the shallow one for thinking that physical looks don’t really matter.

The thing is this – our perceptions of what is attractive to us, is often very different to whatever others around us would think is attractive – and thank goodness for that! Because it is this unique reaction in our brain that allows us to be attracted to a particular kind, which removes other people being attracted to the same type (though it is not a one-for-one special here). It is precisely this chemical reaction in our brain that gives us that nudge to go “oh, she isn’t too bad lookin'”. And that same woman whom you thought was not too bad lookin’, is probably not going to get that same reaction from your good friend.

Oh, the beauty of human attraction, isn’t it?

The point of this post? Let’s not allow the notion of being attracted to someone’s physical traits first before their personality make us feel shallow in any form, because it really is normal. But also, don’t be too hung up on these physical traits because personality will change the physical traits of the person in your eyes. And yes, again, I speak from experience.

Let’s just be attracted to who we are attracted to, and let’s not judge ourselves for something that everyone else is doing without truly realising.


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