If there is anything that I have learnt from this experience, it is the fact that one can never leave it till this late to actually meet in person. How others do it over distance and not meet for as long as they do, is something I will probably never learn to comprehend because of my own first hand experience.
The virtual connection that one has when you are dating, is a good indication of how it would be when you finally meet the person. But it is by no means, any form of accurate assessment of how it would really be when you do meet the person and start hanging out with them. Granted, there were a few other factors that influenced the outcome of this entire experience, but the true depth of the connection can never be discovered until you meet.
The perception of how the other party functions, is very much a figment of what the person allows you to see from their end – after all, there are only so many things you can do when you’re dating virtually / over distance. It becomes difficult to truly ascertain what their lifestyles are like, what their habits are, and how they would really react. When you are dating virtually, there is an opportunity for you to take back what you initially wanted to say, by religiously pressing on the “Backspace” or “Delete” keys – whichever rocks your boat. When you are dating over distance, you really don’t know how the person spends their free time. You don’t know what their definition of chilling really is. You don’t know what bothers them. In essence, you don’t know which boxes you’d tick or cross in their subconscious checklist.
And whilst you connect so very well on fundamental values and principles, and the outlook in life, is it really enough? For me, personally, it sure is. And obviously, there needs to be some form of common ground between both parties – otherwise there will never be anything that we would be doing together. However, the depth of the common ground, really is not important to me. I thought it would be the same for others, but this experience has really taught me otherwise. The absence of depth in the commonality between two can sometimes be the very thing that becomes the deciding factor – which to me, is still something I am trying to come to terms with, but I can understand where the basis would be. It is just something that I would not be too fazed about at all.
I take with me wonderful moments with this one woman whom I know I will always have a soft spot for. There was so much that could have worked in our favour, but just as much that couldn’t. The depth of connection that I had felt with her, was unfortunately a virtual depth that we both misunderstood.
I walk away, hoping that she will find the happiness that she truly deserves in life, and that she will achieve all the goals she desires.
And no, there has been no regrets waiting 5 months to meet her. I would not have changed anything in the world, and it was an absolute honour and pleasure to have met her in person.